I’m struggling with what to say this morning and it’s not because of writer’s block. It’s because my head is literally so full of advice, research, and number crunching that it aches a bit. My cup of coffee isn’t taking off the edge despite being a wonderfully smooth yet bold dark roast sweetened with a bit of raw honey.
I’m facing large life decisions and all the ramifications while addressing all the emotions and heart issues that muddle my efforts to keep the facts straight.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
I have to admit that it’s all just too much sometimes. Wouldn’t it just be nice to have a wise friend walk through the front door and unroll a large life map that charts out the consequences, all the pros and cons, and all the unknown factors of all major decisions? Yes indeed – I’m sure my headache might just ease a bit.
I don’t feel the same level of anxiety as I used to when confronted with big decisions as I hate making mistakes that will impact my life, family, and pocketbook. Sometimes it’s easy to laugh at mistakes and move on but there are other mistakes that haunt you for years… until that loan is paid off, car dies, or someone wise comes along and offers you advise that could help despite the fact that you’ve followed the wise advice of so many others who are wise in an area- not just wanna-be’s- and yet the consequences are still negative which leads to more and more hesitancy the next round.
It does cause me to seek more wisdom, which is good, until the wisdom is so varied and may work for one type of personality but not for all. What to do?
Perhaps doubt in certain areas displays a lack of faith. Or perhaps my lack of faith produces doubt. Perhaps they’re the same. Or perhaps I’ve walked through the negative consequences of poor decisions for so long that I feel an expectation to wisen up and have answers that I simply don’t have. So I freeze, ask, or hurry into choices to avoid more mistakes. It’s a bit erratic and unconventional but I’m able to bandage my thoughts with little quips like:
“Well-behaved women rarely make history.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
I’m not out to make history, I just want to make smart decisions that impact my family’s history in the making. Is that too much to ask?
Yes, mistakes are where we learn and there are 50 million quotes, books, songs, etc that attempt to empower us so we don’t fear mistakes . I’m not disagreeing, I’m just tired of spinning my wheels in specific areas of life… I’m tired of the insanity. Can I get an amen? Anyone…?